Sherbango soup

Date Night Of Heavyweight Champions

You can take the boy out of the squared circle, but you can’t take the squared circle out of the boy.

I had an awfully wonderful time tonight, Elizabeth. Really, I want to thank you for such a splendid evening. Wasn’t that opera just sublime? I hope you don’t mind my tears during the third act, but the stirrings of my heart just could not be contained.

You know, there aren’t a lot of women of your caliber that would take a chance on a muscle-bound lug like me. Just because a guy makes his money slamming peoples faces into turnbuckles, most ladies think I’m some sort of savage macho-man. Totally not true. That’s just a job to me. I really enjoy the more refined things in life. Symphonies, the theatre, arts and culture of all types… that’s more a reflection of the real me than my signature elbow drop.

Would you care for some beef jerky? Just kidding! How about a glass of wine? I’m quite the wine connoisseur, you know. Here, let me just grab a corkscrew and pour you a little of The Grappler from Twenty Rows winery. I’m sure it’s around here somewhere.

You’ll really love this blend of Zinfandel, Syrah, and Cabernet Sauvignon. It starts out so powerfully with spice, ripe cherry, and tobacco flavors, but it’s smooth and sophisticated, too. And the finish of cedar and black pepper will delight you, as well. Or it WOULD if I could just find that dang corkscrew! Where is that blasted little runt? You think you can hide from me, you little bottle opening pip-squeak? DO YOU? YOU THINK YOU CAN RUN LIKE A COWARD FROM THE BOFFO-MAN?! Lemme tell you somethin’! You can only hide for so long, my friend. And when you do finally show your shiny metal face, I’M GONNA TAKE YOU TO THE TOP ROPE AND DROP YOU LIKE A…

Oh hey, there it is. Heh. I guess I put it in the silverware drawer instead of the utensil drawer. What a silly goose, I’ve been! Well then, I’ll just fill these glasses for… Elizabeth? Hey, where’d you go?

2006 The Grappler: 

• Blend: 60% Zinfandel, 30% Syrah, 10% Cabernet Sauvignon
• Harvested in Late September through Early October
• Average Sugar at Harvest: 24.5%
• 14.8% Alcohol
• 2,600 Cases Produced
• Released August, 2008

The wine starts out powerful yet smooth with ripe, spicy, cherry and tobacco flavors on the mid palate.  The finish is accented with cedar and black pepper.

Rules and restrictions:

• Wine sold by winery (or a retailer in your state where necessary)
• You must be 21 or older to order
• Whoever receives the package must be 21 or older
• If you're drunk when the package shows up, you will not be allowed to receive it
• Wine cannot be delivered to a P.O. Box
• We highly recommend you use a business address as your shipping address

Thanks to stick-in-the-mud buzzkilling state legislators, wine may only be delivered to the following states:

• Arizona
• California
• Colorado
• Connecticut
• District Of Columbia
• Florida
• Georgia
• Idaho
• Illinois
• Iowa
• Kansas
• Louisiana
• Maine
• Michigan
• Minnesota
• Missouri
• Nebraska
• Nevada
• New Mexico
• New York
• North Carolina
• North Dakota
• Ohio
• Oregon
• South Carolina
• Tennessee
• Texas
• Vermont
• Virginia
• Washington
• West Virginia
• Wisconsin
• Wyoming

If your state's not on the list, you're out of luck... for now. Keep up with the ever-changing laws over at ShipCompliantBlog.com, and/or sound the alarms with your state assembly person through FreeTheGrapes.org. Meanwhile, all Federal, state and local laws are complied with in providing this wine.