Sherbango soup

You can’t keep my deposit! That’s illegal!

Fine, you win. I’ll vacuum the stupid place before I move out.

Yeah yeah, “a lease is a lease,” I get it. Even though I haven’t had hot water for the 12 months I’ve been here. You know what a year of cold showers does to a man?! Oh, and thank you for educating me that “lessor-controlled heat” translates to “35 degrees in my apartment in winter.”

I’ll just use this Dyson DC22 Turbinehead Canister Vacuum. I don’t care if the DC23 has a bigger bin; it’s cheaper too, but that’s because this one has more power. That means more dirt off the carpet and less time picking fingernails out of my area rug.

YEAH, I BITE MY NAILS! IS THAT AGAINST YOUR PRECIOUS LEASE, TOO?!

You know what? I’m not even going to use the hard floor tool. And forget about the stair tool. I’m sick of slumlords like you pushing people like me around! You think you’re the only one in town offering a two-bedroom with a view in a great neighborhood 20 minutes from my work?

Well an extensive analysis of the rental market indicates that you are, but that’s still no reason to lord it over me!

Warranty: 5 Year Dyson

Features:

• The DC22 weighs 18% less than the DC23 (16lbs vs. 19.46 lbs)
• Level 3 Root Cyclone technology never loses suction and captures microscopic dust
• 230 consistent air watts with suction control (for curtains and delicate fabrics)
• Turbine head with air-driven brush bar can be used on any type of floor
• Dyson Digital Motor spins at 88,000 RPM (9 times faster than a Jet engine)
  
• Hygienic quick empty bin minimizes contact with dirt
• Clean Air Exhaust, air expelled has 150 times less mold and bacteria than the air you breath
• Washable HEPA filter traps microscopic allergens such as pollen
• Controls in the wand to turn machine on/off as well as to turn the brush bar on/off
• Includes the hard floor tool for improved cleaning on hard floors
• Button press cord retraction
• Telescope wrap system – hose and wand compress for easy storage
• Brushless motor
• Anti Vibration System

Specifications:

• DC22 Suction Power (constant): 230 Air Watts; (The model DC23 is less powerful with  220 Air Watts constant)
• Movement type: Fixed wheel
• Filter: Lifetime Washable HEPA filter
• Brushbar control type: On turbine head
• Cleaner head / Floor tool: Turbine head
• Digital motor driven by 5,866 digital pulses per second
• Iron Core Rotor
• Bin capacity: 0.32 gal
• Power Cord Length: 16.57 ft.

Accessories:

• Stair tool: A Dyson-designed tool for removing dust and dirt from stairs and stair carpets
• Combination accessory tool: Debris nozzle converts to a brush tool for dusting
• Hard floor tool: Improved pick-up on hard floors. Long bristles to prevent scratching or marking on wood or delicate floors

Dimensions:

• 11.46 x 15.83 x 10.35 inches (H x W x D)
• Telescopic Wand: Compressed 20 in. / Extended 39.5 in.
• Max. reach: 27.85 ft
• Cord length: 16.57 ft
• Suction Hose: 6.4 ft
• Weight: 16.07 lbs

In the box:

• Turbine Head
• Brush, Crevice and Stair Tool
• Combination Accessory Tool
• Hard Floor Tool
• Telescopic Wand
• Suction Hose