Sherbango soup

Soaked In Color

When you think about it, the world was just an ugly empty canvas before the rains came.

After all, it’s our planet’s abundance of water that give us the blue oceans and white clouds. And just think about the flowers and plants that add a myriad of color to our day, not to mention the rainbow of creatures that walk this Earth. So intense, am I right?

Maybe that’s why we feel such a connection to the water around this time of year, you know? Perhaps there’s some primal need to pay tribute to this life-giving miracle of H2O that makes us collect it in great volume outside our homes and fling ourselves into it?

Or maybe it’s just freakin’ hot outside and we want to cool off. Whatever.

Wear this shirt: on your way to the pool, but not in it. Can’t you read the sign?

Don’t wear this shirt: if you’re Tony Hayward.

This shirt tells the world: “Let’s get wet.”

We call this color: Creme-ulonimbus

Design Placement: Centered

Design Size:
3X – S: 12.66” x 19”
WXL - WS: 9.49” x 14.25”
K12 - K4: 8.32” x 12.5”

Pantone Colors:  White - 032C - 300C - 123C - Pantone Purple C - 354C - 312C - Cool Gray 8C - Black

Please check our sizing chart before you order. The Woot Tee follows a classic closer-fitting style. If you prefer a baggier look, order a larger size. If there is not a larger size, consider starting a belly-hanging-out trend.

How many times has this happened to you?

You’re going about your day, and suddenly you’re seized with panic

“Wait a minute,” you think: “Did I forget to put on a shirt?”

Don’t you wish there was a quick, easy, fool-proof way to instantly tell at a glance whether ot not you’re wearing a shirt? Well, now there is! It’s the Clothing Status Update System, exclusively available from Shirt.Woot!

In these complicated times, you’ve got way too much on your mind to have to worry about what’s on your torso. The CSU System takes all the guesswork out of figuring out whether you’re legally entitled to service at gas stations and convenience stores, for example (shoes not included), while freeing your mind to think about the more important things in your life.

(WARNING: This device’s high-tech torso-sensing system only works while you’ve actually got the shirt on. Some users report sensor errors from their CSU System when they lay it out on the bed, hang it on a chair, or toss it in a hamper.)

Wear this shirt: at all times, to make sure it’s working

Don’t wear this shirt: as a do-rag and expect accurate readouts

This shirt tells the world: “Nyah, nyah, you can’t see my nipples! Well, OK, the outline of them, maybe, but you can’t see them in detail.”

We call this color: The Shirt Off Our Black

Design Placement: Centered

Design Size:
3X – S: 13” x 6.73”
WXL - K4: 9” x 4.66”

Pantone Colors: White - Cool Gray 11C - 802C

Please check our sizing chart before you order. The Woot Tee follows a classic closer-fitting style. If you prefer a baggier look, order a larger size. If there is not a larger size, consider starting a belly-hanging-out trend.

Joltin’ Giacomo’s Uvaggio

When you’re away from home and feeling disoriented, nothing helps calm you down like a familiar meal.

That’s why you see so many Americans at McDonald’s in Europe. It’s not that they can’t survive without deep-fried potato flour (well, most of them, anyway). It’s just that after a week or two of men with strange mustaches barking incomprehensibly, of children giggling at them for no apparent reason, of even the dogs seeming to be in on some private joke that the tourists will never understand, a fistful of familiar carbs really soothes the nerves.

Consider this Uvaggio di Giacomo 2008 Vermentino another one of those tourists. Its native soil is Liguria region on the west coast of Italy, and the island of Sardinia. The Sardinians and the Ligurians will eat pretty much anything and everything that lives under the Mediterranean waves, so Vermentino found its sea legs standing alongside some of the greatest seafood meals on the planet. Good acidity, moderate alcohol, touches of herb and citrus and quince and pear: Vermentino is pretty much the perfect partner for fish, and a quintessential varietal of Western Italy.

So when winemaker Jim “Giacomo” Moore tried growing some in the distant soil of Lodi, California, Vermentino had some adjusting to do. The heat couldn’t hurt it. Its distinct Italian accent picked up just a hint of the California dialect. The famed Janis Robinson named Uvaggio di Giacomo 2008 Vermentino one of her Wines of the Week, citing its “seriously good value… it over-delivers in terms of flavour and refreshment… Unlike most Cal-Ital varietals, which seem to bear pretty little relationship to the Italian prototype, one mouthful of this was enough to remind me of a lunch in Liguria high above the sparkling blue Mediterranean.” The San Francisco Chronicle tabbed Jim/Giacomo as one of its Ten Winemakers to Watch thanks to brilliant wines like the 2008 Vermentino.

But sometimes, when it all gets to be a little too much and Vermentino starts to feel adrift, it needs to be reminded where it came from. It needs that familiar meal. It needs to be paired with fresh seafood, excellently prepared. Without question, Uvaggio di Giacomo 2008 Vermentino boasts enough flavor and edge to stand on its own. We’d recommend setting aside at least one of these four bottles for a primo seafood dinner. You’ll be glad you did – and so will the Vermentino.

2008 Uvaggio Vermentino:

• Vintage 2008
• 100% Lodi appellation: 32% Gayla's Vineyard, 68% Bella Vigna Vineyard
• 100% Tablas Creek colonel selection 
• Bottled Apr 2009
• 12.2% alcohol
• pH 3.54
• TA 6.1 g/l
• RS <0.5 g/l

Fruity and floral with hints of herbs, mint and cilantro on top of citrus and kiwi.

Rules and restrictions:

• Wine sold by winery (or a retailer in your state where necessary)
• You must be 21 or older to order
• Whoever receives the package must be 21 or older
• If you're drunk when the package shows up, you will not be allowed to receive it
• Wine cannot be delivered to a P.O. Box
• We highly recommend you use a business address as your shipping address

Thanks to stick-in-the-mud buzzkilling state legislators, wine may only be delivered to the following states:

• California
• Colorado
• District Of Columbia
• Florida
• Idaho
• Illinois
• Michigan
• Minnesota
• Missouri
• Nevada
• New Hampshire
• New Mexico
• New York
• Oregon
• Texas
• Virginia
• Washington
• Yukon

If your state's not on the list, you're out of luck... for now. Keep up with the ever-changing laws over at ShipCompliantBlog.com, and/or sound the alarms with your state assembly person through FreeTheGrapes.org. Meanwhile, all Federal, state and local laws are complied with in providing this wine.

There’s Nothing Like Summer

Okay, okay, excuse me, hey, excuse me, I just want to… I SAID EXCUSE ME!

I mean, can’t a strawberry get to the other side of the party? I just want to see what song is playing on the boom box! Yeah, I’m talking to you masked dog-thing. I don’t care how good that drink is, I need to get by. Look, it’s just for a second and you can get right back to hitting on that green smoke or whatever it is you’re doing. Aw, jeez, really? Really? You’re just gonna stand there and be a jerk?

Fine, well, I can be a jerk too. Sorry for yelling, I guess. HEY, APPLE! APPLE! YEAH, IT’S ME! STRAWBERRY! YEAH, LISTEN, LOOK AT THE TAPE. LOOK AT THE TAPE AND TELL ME WHAT IT IS. NO, ON THE BOOM BOX. WHAT SONG ARE WE LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? WHAT? I CAN’T… NO, I CAN’T HEAR YOU. DID YOU SEE IT? OKAY, WRITE IT DOWN AND TELL THE GUY THAT LOOKS LIKE A BARBER SHOP POLE TO PASS IT TO ME. I CAN’T GET OVER THERE CAUSE THIS GUY IS BEING A GRADE A- ooof! Did you just do that on purpose?

Seriously, what’s your problem, dog thing? You want to take this outside? Because I ain’t some shortcake, if that’s what you’re thinking. I’m full of juice and you’re a white pair of pants, you got me? Step off and let me by.

Wear this shirt: to a street fair or block party! Or, really, anywhere you can get fried dough. It’s not an outdoor party without fried dough.

Don’t wear this shirt: with chicken or fish.

This shirt tells the world: “Sometimes the best things come from unnatural mixing.”

We call this color: Hey, Are You The Red Striped Guy That Was Talking To Apple About- Aw, You Are? Great! Now I Can Finally Get The Name Of That Amazing Song. Man, Wasn’t That Dog Dude Weak?

Design Placement: Centered

Design Size:
3X – S: 13.75” x 19”
WXL - WS: 10.31” x 14.25”
K12 - K4: 8.5” x 11.73”

Pantone Colors:  White - 101C - 584C - 7489C - 7427C - 490C

Please check our sizing chart before you order. The Woot Tee follows a classic closer-fitting style. If you prefer a baggier look, order a larger size. If there is not a larger size, consider starting a belly-hanging-out trend.

We’re going to dance.

And have some fun.

This shirt’s not a
Skirt on my back
It inserts some
Satisfaction when I buy
Satisfaction with what I spy

I’m gonna buy me another
I-I-I-I-I
Yeah I’m gonna buy me another

Derby I do deeply dig
Some shirts I want to give
As summer gifts, my succotash wish

Shirt Woot baby
I’m gonna buy me another
I-I-I-I-I
Yeah I’m gonna buy me another

Woot is sellin’ shirts
Ah-ah-ah-ah
Woot is sellin’ shirts
Ah-ah-ah-ah
Woot is sellin’ shirts
Woot is sellin’ shirts
Ah-ah-ah-ah

Designs that look cool
Move me to buy them too
I don’t care who
Might disapprove

I’m gonna buy me another
I-I-I-I-I
Yeah I’m gonna buy me another

Guy named Joel (Joooooel!) was on a roll
Can’t count all the shirts he sold
He’s not vicious or malicious
Just shirt-centric and ambitious

I’m gonna buy me another

Wear this on your torso
Ten dollar deal you oughta know
De-liteful truly de-liteful
Buyin’ it wearin’ it ‘specially at a show
Feelin’ kinda tight like you should resize
Maybe go bigger no shame in our eyes
Wearin’ it outside
Rollin’ in your ride
Feel of the cotton is nice on your hide
Wreckin’ the reckonin’ with my vote
I buy cute shirts to get curmudgeons’ goats
My friends will see the funky side of me
Wear this to work Friday casually
Get get ready with it
Can’t can’t quit it quit it
Click on the button when I see somethin’
I’m wantin’ one
You know that’s true
Baby if you want I’ll get you one too

Woot is sellin’ shirts
Ah-ah-ah-ah
Woot is sellin’ shirts
Ah-ah-ah-ah
Woot is sellin’ shirts
Woot is sellin’ shirts
Ah-ah-ah-ah

Wear this shirt: To any ‘90s inspired neon rave.

Don’t wear this shirt: Around Bootsy Collins. He’s still upset about the day the Funk died.

This shirt tells the world: “I think funk comes from teenage club DJs with oversized headphones. We probably don’t have much to talk about.”

We call this color: Earth Wind and Asphalt

Design Placement: Centered

Design Size:
3X – S: 12” x 16.18”
WXL - K4: 9” x 12.13”

Pantone Colors:  372C - 128C - 344C - 348C

Please check our sizing chart before you order. The Woot Tee follows a classic closer-fitting style. If you prefer a baggier look, order a larger size. If there is not a larger size, consider starting a belly-hanging-out trend.

Date Night Of Heavyweight Champions

You can take the boy out of the squared circle, but you can’t take the squared circle out of the boy.

I had an awfully wonderful time tonight, Elizabeth. Really, I want to thank you for such a splendid evening. Wasn’t that opera just sublime? I hope you don’t mind my tears during the third act, but the stirrings of my heart just could not be contained.

You know, there aren’t a lot of women of your caliber that would take a chance on a muscle-bound lug like me. Just because a guy makes his money slamming peoples faces into turnbuckles, most ladies think I’m some sort of savage macho-man. Totally not true. That’s just a job to me. I really enjoy the more refined things in life. Symphonies, the theatre, arts and culture of all types… that’s more a reflection of the real me than my signature elbow drop.

Would you care for some beef jerky? Just kidding! How about a glass of wine? I’m quite the wine connoisseur, you know. Here, let me just grab a corkscrew and pour you a little of The Grappler from Twenty Rows winery. I’m sure it’s around here somewhere.

You’ll really love this blend of Zinfandel, Syrah, and Cabernet Sauvignon. It starts out so powerfully with spice, ripe cherry, and tobacco flavors, but it’s smooth and sophisticated, too. And the finish of cedar and black pepper will delight you, as well. Or it WOULD if I could just find that dang corkscrew! Where is that blasted little runt? You think you can hide from me, you little bottle opening pip-squeak? DO YOU? YOU THINK YOU CAN RUN LIKE A COWARD FROM THE BOFFO-MAN?! Lemme tell you somethin’! You can only hide for so long, my friend. And when you do finally show your shiny metal face, I’M GONNA TAKE YOU TO THE TOP ROPE AND DROP YOU LIKE A…

Oh hey, there it is. Heh. I guess I put it in the silverware drawer instead of the utensil drawer. What a silly goose, I’ve been! Well then, I’ll just fill these glasses for… Elizabeth? Hey, where’d you go?

2006 The Grappler: 

• Blend: 60% Zinfandel, 30% Syrah, 10% Cabernet Sauvignon
• Harvested in Late September through Early October
• Average Sugar at Harvest: 24.5%
• 14.8% Alcohol
• 2,600 Cases Produced
• Released August, 2008

The wine starts out powerful yet smooth with ripe, spicy, cherry and tobacco flavors on the mid palate.  The finish is accented with cedar and black pepper.

Rules and restrictions:

• Wine sold by winery (or a retailer in your state where necessary)
• You must be 21 or older to order
• Whoever receives the package must be 21 or older
• If you're drunk when the package shows up, you will not be allowed to receive it
• Wine cannot be delivered to a P.O. Box
• We highly recommend you use a business address as your shipping address

Thanks to stick-in-the-mud buzzkilling state legislators, wine may only be delivered to the following states:

• Arizona
• California
• Colorado
• Connecticut
• District Of Columbia
• Florida
• Georgia
• Idaho
• Illinois
• Iowa
• Kansas
• Louisiana
• Maine
• Michigan
• Minnesota
• Missouri
• Nebraska
• Nevada
• New Mexico
• New York
• North Carolina
• North Dakota
• Ohio
• Oregon
• South Carolina
• Tennessee
• Texas
• Vermont
• Virginia
• Washington
• West Virginia
• Wisconsin
• Wyoming

If your state's not on the list, you're out of luck... for now. Keep up with the ever-changing laws over at ShipCompliantBlog.com, and/or sound the alarms with your state assembly person through FreeTheGrapes.org. Meanwhile, all Federal, state and local laws are complied with in providing this wine.

Technically “Crying Face” Isn’t A Playable Move

3rd place in Derby #156: Three , with 760 votes!

Of course, many games have changes since they first began. Chess, for example, was originally played with a “vizer”, not a “queen”. Croquet used to be played with the bloody heads of political enemies. And Dungeons and Dragons wasn’t always Advanced!

So, too, has the game of “Rock, Scissors, Paper” evolved to reach modern times. For example, in 1863, Alfred Nobel created dynamite during a frustrating tournament round, leaving ten dead and causing “musket shot” to quickly go out of fashion. But, just the same, there are some purists who work to keep the ancient traditions alive, even as the scholars of the game insist that there is no place for the supernatural. In the dark corners of the world, there still exist those who endure the suffering and sacrifice needed to master plays like “dragon”, “ninja” or even the dread “extra man”, a move that is only a rumor… or is it?

One can only wonder what the game might be like in a thousand years. Will “paper” be replaced by “iPad”?

Wear this shirt: fortknightly. Also, interesting fact, that used to be fortkennedy until they changed it back. Probably some political reason.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you’re Qvwyzj Foghlump. Aw, don’t look so sad, Qvwuzj. Okay, okay, fine, we take it back, you can wear it.

This shirt tells the world: “There’s always someone better.”

We call this color: Casphaltle. You Want To Pronounce That? Best Of Luck.

Design Placement:

Centered

Design Size:
3X – S: 14” x 10.37”
WXL - WS: 10.5” x 7.78”
K12 - K4: 8.5” x 6.29”

Pantone Colors:  544C - 313C - 416C - 186C - 202C - Black

Please check our sizing chart before you order. The Woot Tee follows a classic closer-fitting style. If you prefer a baggier look, order a larger size. If there is not a larger size, consider starting a belly-hanging-out trend.

Apparently it’s Picture Day at the local tavern

And I neglected to wear a clean shirt

When I found McCormick’s, I thought: This is it. Here’s a dank, dreary, horrible little pit of a pub where I can medicate myself with liquid depressants with no distractions.

They don’t get the cheerful, after-work crowd in here. The sad, sallow faces in the mirror behind the bar all belong to dedicated, professional drinkers, winding down their careers. It’s grim. I like it like that.

I guess what I’m saying is that sometimes you wanna go where no one gives a crap what your name is. To the bartender at McCormick’s, I’m “bourbon neat.” That’s my name. That’s fine.

OK, but then the girls started coming in.

I don’t know what their story is. They moved into a nearby apartment or something. But for some unfathomable reason, they decided McCormick’s was going to be their place. And they’re ruining it.

See, these girls are happy. They’re loud. They’re bubbly. They gab. They giggle. They play “We Are Family” on the jukebox. Who even knew McCormick’s had a jukebox?

But the worst of it is the picture-taking.

I can’t imagine how voluminous these girls’ FaceBook photo albums are, because they shoot their every visit to the bar—MY bar—like it’s Lady Di’s first posthumous public appearance and they’re the paparazzi.

And they don’t even have to talk to each other about it. Like say if I was going to take a picture of myself with Floyd, the gray-faced alkie who occupies the stool two down from me—and don’t ask me why I would do such a thing, but if I was going to—I’d probably have to say “hey, Floyd, c’mere, let’s take a picture together.”

Not the girls. They’re so practiced at it that they read each other’s body language. One leans into another, and the one across the table knows to snap a photo. Another one turns her camera around to face herself, and the girls on her flanks instinctively lean in to the frame. Flash, flash, flash, flash. It’s non-stop, every time they visit. I swear, a typical Happy Hour exposes me to more duck face than the director’s cut of Treasure of the Lost Lamp.

Thank goodness for Samsung’s DualView digital camera. It’s got a one-and-a-half-inch LCD screen right on the front, so the girls can take self-portraits with each other without having to do a hundred retakes because “Jen wasn’t in the shot,” or “oh, no, I cut off our heads,” or “omigod, you aimed it right down my shirt!”

I’m telling you, everything that reduces the number of flashes is OK by me. A bar should be dark, you know?

The girls will figure it out. It’ll take them a few years, probably, and a few more disappointments. But eventually they’ll end up where I am. And where Floyd is. And where whatever his name is, the liver-spotted guy with the dyed-black Big Boy pompadour who sits at the end. After life beats down the girls like it’s beaten down us, they’ll quiet down. They won’t giggle so much. And they’ll leave their Samsung DualView cameras at home.

Because after you spend enough years in bars, and your skin slackens and your eyes go yellow? You come to a point where you really don’t want pictures.

Authorized for SquareTrade Extended Warranty

Warranty: 90 Day Samsung

Features:

• 1.5” front LCD screen great for self portraits and can play cute animations to capture kids’ attention
• 12.2 megapixel CCD capable of capturing images up to 4000 X 3000
• Record HD video in 1280x720p resolution at 30 frames per second in H.264 format
• Schneider-KREUZNACH Lens with 4.6X optical zoom  (35mm film equivalent : 27~124.2mm)
• Rear LCD Touch Screen, scroll quickly through all menus, and easily access your photo library
• Haptic vibration response registers your choices. Quickly access and use the camera’s key features with either a simple finger tap or hand gesture, using the revolutionary new Gesture UI
• Smart Auto analyzes key elements of your composition such as color, brightness, motion and subject; then automatically adjusts to take the perfect shot
• Advanced Dual Image Stabilization (IS) feature allows you to capture crystal-clear, blur-free shots without using a flash or tripod
• Optical IS compensates for hand trembling by shifting the lens in the opposite direction
• Recycle Bin, every shot is automatically stored in a temporary folder just in case you have second thoughts
• Smart Album, quickly scroll through your entire image library and organize images a multitude of ways, including; Favorite, Face, Color, Content

Additional Photos:

• Red Samsung TL220 DualView Camera
• Red Samsung TL220 DualView Camera Detail
• Red Samsung TL220 DualView Camera Memory Card Slot and Battery Compartment
• Red Samsung TL220 DualView Camera Touch Screen LCD
• Blue Samsung TL220 DualView Camera
• Blue Samsung TL220 DualView Camera Detail
• Blue Samsung TL220 DualView Camera Memory Card Slot and Battery Compartment
• Blue Samsung TL220 DualView Camera Touch Screen LCD

Specifications:

Image Sensor Type: 1/2.33" (approx 7.79mm) CCD   Effective Pixel: Approx. 12.2 Mega-pixel   Lens Focal Length: Schneider-KREUZNACH Lens f = 4.9 ~ 22.5mm (35mm film equivalent : 27~124.2mm)   F No.: F3.5(W) ~ F5.9(T)   Digital Zoom: Still Image mode : 1.0X ~5.0X
Play mode : 1.0X ~ 12.5X (depends on image size)   Image Stabilization Dual IS (OIS + DIS)
OIS (Optical Image Stabilization), DIS (Digital Image Stabilization) Display Type: TFT LCD   Main Display: 3.0" (7.6cm) Wide QVGA(230K) Full Touch LCD   Front Display: 1.5" (61K) TFT LCD   Focusing Type: TTL auto focus(Multi AF, Center AF, Face Detection AF, Smart Touch AF, Smart Face Recognition AF, One Touch Shooting)   Range: Normal : 80cm ~ infinity
Macro : 5cm ~ 80cm (Wide), 50cm ~ 80cm (Tele)
Auto Macro : 5cm ~ Infinity (Wide), 50cm ~ Infinity (Tele)
Super Macro: 3cm ~ 8cm
Super Macro: 3cm~8cm   Shutter Speed Auto: 1/8 ~ 1/2000 sec., Program: 1 ~ 1/2000 sec.   Night: 8 ~ 1/2,000 sec., Fireworks : 2 sec.   Exposure Control: Program AE   Metering: Multi, Spot, Center Weighted, Face Detection AE   Compensation: ±2EV (1/3EV steps)   ISO Equivalent: Auto, 80, 100, 200, 400, 800, 1600, 3200   Flash Modes: Auto, Auto & Red-eye reduction, Fill-in flash, Slow sync, Flash off, Red eye fix   Range: Wide : 0.2m ~ 3.4m, Tele : 0.5m ~ 2.0m , (ISO AUTO)   Recharge Time: Approx. 4 sec.   Sharpness Soft+, Soft, Normal, Vivid, Vivid+     White Balance Auto, Daylight, Cloudy, Fluorescent_H, Fluorescent_L, Tungsten, Custom     Still Image Shooting Smart Auto: Portrait, Night Portrait, Backlight Portrait, Macro Portrait, Backlight, Landscape, White, Action, Tripod, Night, Macro, Macro Text, Blue Sky, Sunset Sky, Natural Portrait, Natural Green   Scene: Beauty shot, Frame Guidet, Portrait, Night, Children, Landscape,Close up Text, Sunset, Dawn, Back Light, Fireworks, Beach, Snow   Effect: Photo Style Selector : Normal, Soft, Vivid, Forest, Retro, Cool, Calm, Classic, Negative, Custom RGB Image Adjust :Sharpness (Soft+, Soft, Normal, Vivid, Vivid+),Contrast (Hight+,High, Normal, Low, Low+), aturation(++, +, Normal, -, --) Edit: Resize, Rotate, Trimming, Normal, Soft, Vivid, Forest, Retro, Cool, Calm, Classic, Negative, Custom RGB, Color Filter, Elegant, Add Noise, Face Retouch, Brightness, Contrast, Saturation, Red Eye Fix, ACB, Face Retouch (Level 1,2,3), Red eye fix, Snow, Mosaic, Highlight Image Play Single image, Thumbnails,Smart Album, Advanced Slide show, Movie Clip, Slide show with Effect & Music     Voice Recording Voice Recording (max. 10 hours)
Voice Memo in Still Image (max. 10 sec.) Date Imprinting Date&Time, Date, Off (user selectable)     Movie Clip Recording: With Audio or without Audio (Zoom Mute)(Max Recording time : 20min)
Size: 1280x720(30/15fps) High Quality, 1280x720(30/15fps) Standard Quality, 640x480(30/15fps) , 320x240 (60/30/15 fps)
Due to noise while optical zooming the mic is turned off.   Effect: Normal, Soft, Vivid, Forest, Retro, Cool, Calm, Classic, Negative, Custom   Edit: Pause during recording, Still Image Capture, Time Trimming   Storage Internal Memory: About 55MB   External Memory(Optional): Micro SD (up to 4GB)   Micro SDHC (up to 8GB)     File Format Still Image: JPEG (DCF), EXIF 2.21, DPOF 1.1, PictBridge 1.0   Movie Clip: H.264 (MPEG4.AVC)   Audio: AAC   Image Size: 12M: 4000X3000 pixels
8M: 3264x2448 pixels
5M : 2560X1920 pixels
3M : 2048x1536 pixels
1M: 1024x768 pixels
9M W: 3840 x 2160 pixels
2MW:1920x1080 pixels
10M P: 3984 x 2656 pixels Interface Digital Output Connector: USB 2.0   Audio: Microphone : Mono
Internal Speaker : Mono   Video Out: NTSC, PAL (user selectable) SCC-AV20   DC power input: 4.2V 20 Pin   Physical Specification Dimensions (WxHxD): 3.93” x 2.35” x 0.73”   Weight: .328 lbs. (without battery and card)   Operating Temperature: 0 ~ 40 °C   Operating Humidity: 5 ~ 85%   System Requirements For Windows: Windows 2000/XP/Vista/7, PC with processor better than Pentium III 500MHz (800MHz recommended), 250MB available hard disk space (over 1GB recommended), minimum 256MB RAM (over 512 MB recommended),pixels 16-bit color display monitor (24-bit color display recommended), Microsoft DirectX 9.0 or later For Macintosh: Power Mac G3 or later, Mac OS 10.3 or later, minimum 256MB RAM, 110MB of available hard-disk space, USB port,CD-ROM drive.

In the box:

• Samsung TL220 DualView 12MP Digital Camera
• Battery
• USB Cable
• Power Cable

Jan-Ken-Pon Libre

2nd place in Derby #156: Three , with 786 votes!

Paper flying off the turnbuckle to execute its deadly “covers Rock” move! Rock roaring across the canvas to break Scissors! And, of course, Scissors executing a deadly hold on Paper! Available only on on-demand channel 4763, it’s the pay-per-view event of the century: RPSMania XIV!

And by “century” we mean, like, nine months, until RPSMania XV!

Wear this shirt: if you agree that Spock and Lizard have no business disrupting the Trinity.

Don’t wear this shirt in Mexico, where it will be considered a provocative invitation to fight with real rocks, paper, and scissors.

This shirt tells the world: “Three hand gestures enter, no hand gestures leave.”

We call this color: Roshambrown.

Design Placement: Centered

Design Size:
3X – S: 13” x 8.35”
WXL - K4: 9” x 5.78”

Pantone Colors:  7499C - 454C - Warm Gray 7C - 158C - 3282C

Please check our sizing chart before you order. The Woot Tee follows a classic closer-fitting style. If you prefer a baggier look, order a larger size. If there is not a larger size, consider starting a belly-hanging-out trend.

Look, we’re certainly not suggesting anything.

But we’ve seen a couple episodes of Dexter.

Sure, some people could conceivably buy this SOG Outdoor Package and use it for its intended purposes: the entrenching tool for digging foxholes and tiger traps, the hand axe for chopping firewood, and the camp saw for crafting a shelter or making IKEA furniture.

Of course given that you’re browsing a deal-a-day website on a Saturday, probably in your underwear (we have a great market research team) we’d have to guess the odds of you actually taking this stuff out into the woods are slim.

Judging by the vitriol in our forums and on our Twitter feeds, though, you probably do have quite a bit of baseless, fiery rage waiting to bubble over. In which case we’d advise you to wait two weeks and administer some sort of background to yourself.

But definitely don’t buy these thinking you’re going to go administer some kind of street justice. If you can’t even be bothered to go camping once in awhile you’re probably just going to hurt yourself.

Warranty: 1 Year SOG

SOG Entrenching Tool (F08)

• Compact folding shovel and pick
• All-steel construction entrenching tool uses a tempered steel blade with teeth cut into one side for cutting and slashing
• Triangular handle is strong and fits the hand well
• Folded, the entrenching tool takes up about the same space as a stack of paper plates -- 7.5" x 5" x 2.5" (L x W x H)
• Includes nylon sheath

Specifications:

• Length: 18.25” (46.4 cm)
• Closed Length: 7.25” (18.4 cm)
• Weight: 24.5 oz. (693 g)
• Edge: Straight
• Steel: High Carbon
• Handle: Steel
• Finish: Black Powder Coated
• Sheath: Nylon

SOG Hand Axe (F09)

• Camp axe designed for chopping and cutting wood
• Contoured textured G10 handle for a more aggressive grip
• Razor-sharp 420 stainless steel
• Non-reflective hard-cased black coating
• Includes nylon sheath

Specifications:

• Blade Length: 2.4” x 0.186��� (6.1 cm x 4.7 mm)
• Overall Length: 11.1” (28.2 cm)
• Weight: 18.6 oz. (526 g)
• Edge: Straight
• Steel: 420
• HRC: 51-53
• Handle: G10
• Finish: Black Oxide
• Sheath: Nylon

SOG Folding Camp Saw (F10)

• Essential piece of survival equipment
• Perfect for camping and hunting
• 8.25” blade of hardened and tempered steel that makes short order of branches, small logs, and brush
• Comfortable kraton rubber handle with stainless steel liners helps to cut deep and true on each and every pull stroke
• Extremely sharp teeth are differentially tempered for long life and work on green as well as hard wood
• Includes nylon sheath

Specifications:

• Length: 17.25” (43.8 cm)
• Blade: 7.88” (20 cm)
• Closed Length: 9.5” (24.1 cm)
• Weight: 8.6 oz. (243 g)
• Edge: Saw
• Steel: High Carbon
• Handle: Soft Grip TPR
• Finish: Black Powder Coated
• Sheath: Nylon

Additional Photos:

• Folding Camp Saw, Entrenching Tool, and Hand Axe
• Package Contents: Folding Camp Saw, Entrenching Tool, and Hand Axe with Nylon Sheaths
  
• Entrenching Tool
  
• Entrenching Tool (Folded)
  
• Hand Axe
  
• Folding Camp Saw (Opened)
  
• Folding Camp Saw (Closed)

Additional Information:

• Package Weight: 4 lbs.
• Package Dimensions: 12.75" x 6.75" x 4 " (L x W x H)

In the box:

• (1) SOG Entrenching Tool with Nylon Sheath (F08)
• (1) SOG Hand Axe with Nylon Sheath (F09)
• (1) SOG Folding Camp Saw with Nylon Sheath (F10)

Adult signature required

Hades new Milk-Bones are delicious

1st place in Derby #156: Three , with 797 votes!

Boy, this place is dead.

And talk about your creepy clientele. Everyone who comes through here has some kind of a sob story. You think I want to listen to people wailing their regrets all day? Because I don’t.

I should have stayed in obedience school. I could have been a police dog, or maybe gotten a job herding sheep or something. But no, somehow I got this bright idea in my heads that I should be a doorman. I pictured myself working a nice joint though, like Valhalla, Swarga Loka, or someplace like that. But no. I get a job at the Greek Underworld. Neuter me.

Occasionally we get someone trying to sneak back out through the ropes unauthorized. So that provides some excitement. But usually I just feel bad for the schmucks. Of course they beg and plead. It’s embarrassing. I always tell ‘em I don’t make the rules; I just work here, but still they moan.

I’m telling you, man, it’s Hell down here. There’s zero workplace camaraderie. And I never get a day off. They got me working like a three-headed dog. You know what that’s like?

It’s RUFF, RUFF, RUFF, that’s what it’s like.

Wear this shirt: with two extra neck-holes cut in the shoulders, if necessary.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you’re an actual dog. Dogs in clothes are undignified.

This shirt tells the world: “I performed a dozen impossible labors and all I got was this crappy t-shirt. Oh, and immortality.”

We call this color: Charon, One-Man Navy On The Styx

Design Placement: Centered

Design Size:
3X – S: 11” x 8.26”
WXL - K4: 8.25” x 6.19”

Pantone Colors:  White - 3385C - 291C - 2925C - 295C - Black

Please check our sizing chart before you order. The Woot Tee follows a classic closer-fitting style. If you prefer a baggier look, order a larger size. If there is not a larger size, consider starting a belly-hanging-out trend.

Wine-A-Dub-Dub

Maybe you just rebuilt a motorcycle. Maybe you just did a hundred push-ups in the dirt. Maybe you’ve just got sweaty Warcraft hands.

It doesn’t matter how you got dirty. All that matters is that you ARE. How are you going to open a bottle of wine with hands like that? Who wants fingerprints on clean glasses? It can’t just be about the nose and mouthfeel. There’s got to be a little presentation too!

And this is why we’re so sure that you, the messy wine lovers of the Internet, will be so happy with the Napa Soap Company All Natural Soap and Lotion Set. Whenever possible, the Napa Soap Company has used local ingredients from the Napa Valley itself, ranging from a prolific supply of lavender to the cold-pressed grapeseed oil that appears as a by-product of the local wine industry. Hand made in limited quantities, this Napa Soap Company All Natural Soap is a great way to stay snobby while getting clean.

Look down your nose 99 and 44/100ths of the time as you scrub the Cabernet Soapignon Bar against your nails, enjoying the berry scent alongside the blend of olive, coconut, palm and sweet almond oils, chocolatey cocoa butter, grapeseed oil and a healthy dose of Napa Valley red wine. Tut tut at other people’s two thousand dirty parts while yours smell of light crisp citrus thanks to the Mandarin Chardonnay Bar Soap, a blend of white wine and four oils (kukui, meadowfoam, grapeseed and mango). And then relax with the therapeutic, moisturizing properties of the Black Olive and Syrah Lotion, mixing cold pressed grapeseed oil, avocado oil, rich shea butter, wine and pure botanical extracts, as well as the vitamins your skin so desperately craves!

After all, the best sommelier in the world wouldn’t work with dirty hands. So why should you? Cleanliness is next to snobbyness, and you can achieve both with a Napa Soap Company All Natural Soap and Lotion Set.

 Cabernet Soapignon Bar Soap:

•  Blend of Napa Valley grapeseed oil, olive, coconut, palm & sweet almond oils, chocolaty cocoa butter and a healthy dose of Napa Valley red wine
• Weight:  0.50 LBS 

Mandarin Chardonnay Bar Soap:

• Blend of white wine, grapeseed oil, mango oil, kukui oil, and meadowfoam oil
• Weight:  0.60 LBS

 Black Olive and Syrah Lotion (bottled):

•  Cold-pressed Napa Valley grapeseed oil, wine, avocado oil and rich shea butter, pure botanical extracts, vitamins and pure essential oil
• An attractive addition to your kitchen or bath
• Weight:  1.00 LBS

In the box:

• (1) Cabernet Soapignon Bar Soap 8oz
• (1) Mandarin Chardonnay Bar Soap 8oz
• (1) Black Olive and Syrah Lotion (bottled) 16oz

Ring Around The Rush Hour

Look, officer, I understand the problem here, but this is official SPACE cop business. You wouldn’t understand.

Seriously, you’re not really writing that ticket, are you? I’m telling you, I gotta get back out there and patrol the streets before there’s a crisis. Well, okay, maybe not a crisis, but a pretty huge crossover event could break out at any moment if I don’t get back on the road PRONTO.

Yes, I know I can fly, but don’t you get it? There are red power rings now. That’s right. And you know what they use for their power? Rage! Sure, it sounds like some cosmic entity has run out of ideas, but that’s not the point. The point, my law enforcing friend, is this: Where do you think the highest concentration of rage occurs, officer? Can you imagine the chaos if every one of these people stuck in traffic received a red ring? THAT’S WHY I’M HERE.

Sigh. Yes, sir, even space cops need to be wearing their seat belts. Sorry. I guess I was too busy SAVING THE WORLD to remember. Just let me know when the court date is so that I can tell my space attorney.

Wear this shirt: while traveling cross-country with your arrow-shooting best buddy.

Don’t wear this shirt: trying to make it through an intersection on a yellow light.

This shirt tells the world: “In Morning Drive, in Rush Hour’s Night, no cutting-off shall escape my sight…”

We call this color: Asphalt-ians Of The Universe

Design Placement: Centered

Design Size:
3X – S: 13” x 15.22”
WXL - K4: 9” x 10.53”

Pantone Colors:  White - 4685C - 7479C - 355C - 444C - Black

Please check our sizing chart before you order. The Woot Tee follows a classic closer-fitting style. If you prefer a baggier look, order a larger size. If there is not a larger size, consider starting a belly-hanging-out trend.

Guess Botticelli Just Missed The Cut

“Leonardo! The Pope said there was trouble!”

“Ah, Michelangelo, my brother! It seems The Critic has struck again, using his lack of vision and limited talent to render a judgement beyond his station and ability!”

“Nyah ha ha! That’s what you think, Leonardo! But in reality, I serve a higher master… my own self-interest! And your work is flawed! Flawed! Take that! Ha ha ha ha ha!”

“The fiend! But despite his inability to better himself and expand his knowledge, his arrogance is too powerful for any one of us alone. We must gather our forces. Raphael! Donatello! Hurry, we need you!”

“We’re here, my brothers. And I’m already hard at work, turning my powers of sprezzatura upon the situation, bringing his weaknesses to the utmost clarity.”

“Good work, Raphael! And while you’re doing that, I’ll confuse him with my perspectival illusions, moving his mind closer to the ideal form!”

“What… what are you doing? I feel… I feel like… like READING a BOOK! I feel like… like… there are things I can LEARN… from OTHER PEOPLE!”

“It’s working, guys! Don’t let up!”

You help ‘em, Leo! I’m gonna lay down a lesson in Mannerism!”

WHACK POW THUD

“No! No! I don’t accept this! The only reason I don’t know what you’re talking about is that you’ve been unclear! I am the arbitrator of taste! I am the critic! No man is as gifted as I! Do you hear? I’ll be back! I’ll be back! Nyah ha! Nyah ha ha ha!”

“Good work, brothers! Together, we’ve taught that poor lost soul a lesson about what art is meant to do.”

“That’s right, Michelangelo! Today we’ve proved that art conquers all. Except… Donatello, why do you look so sad?”

“Oh, it’s nothing, Raphael. Just part of my quest to fully recreate human emotion through my work.”

“Hey, what about the emotion of hunger? I’m starving!”

“Yeah, Leonardo’s right! How about we hit De Medici’s for those free slices he promised us?”

“What a great plan! Hey, Leonardo, I thought you were supposed to be the great inventor!”

“Hahahahaha, you said it, bro!”

“Hey, who let this rat in here?”

“Oh, that’s gross! Ew!”

“Jeez, close the door next time, guys. You want to give us all plague or something?”

Wear this shirt: on the soccer field. If you get caught diving you can play it off as complex performance art.

Don’t wear this shirt: and expect to get all the signatures. Unless you’ve got a time machine handy. And if you’ve got a time machine, why is your hobby collecting autographs?

This shirt tells the world: “Aw, man, is THAT what Kiss looks like without the makeup? Weak!”

We call this color: To Properly Pronounce Van Eyck Pretend You Have A Throat Full Of Creme

Design Placement: Centered

Design Size:
3X – S: 13.57” x 19”
WXL - WS: 10.18” x 14.25”
K12 - K4: 8.93” x 12.5”

Pantone Colors:  631C - 472C - 7439C - 7416C - 476C

Please check our sizing chart before you order. The Woot Tee follows a classic closer-fitting style. If you prefer a baggier look, order a larger size. If there is not a larger size, consider starting a belly-hanging-out trend.